I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
