Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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