Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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