apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
