apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
