I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
