cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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