like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
