We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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