i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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