shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize