is wine microwaveable?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
