he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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