a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
