words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
