just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
