How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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