He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
