i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
