I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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