And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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