He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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