Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
