pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
