What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is wine microwaveable?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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