if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
