I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
