its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
