Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
