i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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