Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize