I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
