I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
