with your own penis?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
