So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
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Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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