just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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