The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize