you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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