problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
