when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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