It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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