sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
