He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
