I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Jerry, you need to find god
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
