I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
