I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
