This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
