were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
