The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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