Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
