The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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