At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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