Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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