but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
