were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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