We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
