Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
