my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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