come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
