Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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