The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
