Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
