I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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