Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
