NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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