Small penises have feelings too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
