I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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